


The Ides of June

by blue_pointer



Series: Der Freischütz [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016)
Genre: Angst and Porn, Captain America: The First Avenger, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Goodbyes, Last Night Together, M/M, Peculiar Children, Stucky - Freeform, bucky goes to war, swearing because Brooklyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: What if Captain America: The First Avenger took place in the Peculiar Children universe?Bucky and Steve say good-bye the night before he ships off to England.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry, you guys. I heard September 3, 1943 and that was it.  
> Also, you can't give me star-crossed lovers and time loops and not expect me to try to find the happy ending.

Bucky Barnes was a wiz with bullets. Even as early as boot camp, he could put a bullet anywhere you wanted one. You just had to explain to him exactly what you wanted first. Once he understood the objective, his target papers always came back perfect. Two in the eye and one in the neck? Got it. Ten dead in the chest in the exact same spot? No problem. 

It was so eerie, at first he was accused of cheating. But the officers checked everything. Three times. Then they kept moving him away from the target. Further and further back to see if he missed. He didn’t. Until a few yards out of the gun’s range. The general said, with a rifle, he’d be able to shoot Hitler right in the eye all the way from Jersey.

It got him sergeant’s stripes, so Bucky didn’t really mind. But he didn’t understand what the big deal was. Shooting the target was easy as breathing. Was it really so hard for everyone else?

Of course, he could discuss none of this with Steve. Steve was already jealous as hell that Bucky had been able to enlist and he’d been rejected. Over and over. And over. The guy just would not stop trying. He was stubborn as an ox. Bucky worried he’d get arrested for lying on his enlistment forms if he kept going.

He was also afraid they’d eventually accept him. How could he protect Steve in the middle of a war? Becky said there was only a 5% chance they’d be assigned the same division. Bucky had nightmares of Steve bleeding to death in a trench in France, simultaneously having an asthma attack, while Bucky was running all over Italy.

Steve was safer back home. He had much better chances of meeting a girl who’d accept him back home (okay, so Bucky wasn’t crazy about that part). Bucky also felt better if someone was back here looking after mom and the girls while he was overseas. But none of these arguments convinced Steve. Maybe Bucky was losing his touch. He used to be able to play Steve like a violin (in more ways than one). But on this, he just would not budge.

Steve didn’t understand what it meant to leave for boot camp a trainee and come back a sergeant. He didn’t know how the army worked. He seemed to feel it was Bucky’s due, which just showed how much the guy still worshipped him like some kind of hero. It was hard to believe Steve still saw him that way, but Bucky didn’t correct him; it was pretty flattering. Plus, Steve let him give the orders for a couple of days when he came back, playing a little game they called Officer and a Gentleman. It was pretty fun while it lasted, especially seeing as Steve was usually the one giving the orders behind closed doors. Or on rooftops. Stopped elevators. In broom closets, photo booths, in between train cars… They’d been doing this for a long time. It made for creativity.

Things went to hell on his last night before shipping out, though. The Stark Expo was going on, and Bucky hadn’t been yet. Howard Stark himself was set to unveil some awesome new invention, and so Bucky had got them tickets. Yes, they took dates. Because there would have been talk in the neighborhood if Bucky hadn’t spent his last night in town with one of the pretty girls lined up around the block to give him a soldier’s farewell. And because Bucky was starting to get emotional about leaving. He didn’t trust himself not to hold Steve’s hand in public if there wasn’t a girl or two between them.

Of course Steve took it personally. “Why do we gotta go on dates our last night together?”

“‘Cause I want us to have a good memory.”

“Us together ain’t a good memory?”

Bucky had sighed. “Stevie, of course it is.” And he’d kissed him, because they’d still been alone at the time. “But what kinda pal would I be if I didn’t help my best friend get lucky on my last night before shipping out?”

“I’d rather be with you, Buck,” Steve had said. And the hurt look in his baby blues had broken Bucky’s heart. But he’d already bought the tickets and found the girls. And there were appearances of heterosexuality to be kept up. The last thing Bucky wanted was to leave Steve behind in New York with some people suspecting they were queer for each other. He’d proved just that afternoon he couldn’t defend himself. And was just too full of sass not to start fights with bigger guys. Bucky loved Steve’s sass. But it made him worry.

The Expo had been great, at first. Everything was so shiny and amazing. Stark’s flying car demo had blown his mind. Even though it had failed. That had almost made it better. But all that machinery, those electronics, that metal...floating in thin air, like it was nothing. It almost made him hard.

Then one minute, Steve was there, and the next he was gone. So much for the double date. Of course Bucky had known where he would be. He’d left the girls to wait while he went to get the stubborn little punk. And then they’d fought. Of all nights to get into it like that! And the girls had shown up to drag Bucky away. He’d honestly thought that hug and salute was their last good-bye.

Bucky was up on the roof, pretending he could see the stars through the light pollution of the city when he’d heard someone climbing the ladder. A familiar pair of bony hands appeared, clinging to the iron rails. “I knew you’d be up here.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t think I might still be at Connie’s?”

“You never fuck at her house,” Steve panted, pulling himself up to the roof. “And I checked where her dad parks his car. So take that.”

Bucky smiled and walked over to the ladder. “You got me there, Stevie.”

“Naw, I got you right here,” Steve said, putting his arms around Bucky.

“Oh God, I was so worried we’d parted on a fight.” Bucky held him close, heaving a sigh of relief.

“I wasn’t gonna let that happen,” Steve said. “After all, you’re gonna think of this night for the next however many months till we see each other again.”

It hurt just to hear the words said out loud. Bucky kept quiet. All the fear and loneliness and anxiety was already starting to build up. “You’re tense,” Steve observed. It was probably obvious with their arms around each other like this.

“I just got some pre-war jitters is all,” Bucky told him, as though it were no big deal.

“I know what helps you relax,” Steve said with a smirk.

Bucky stroked fingers through Steve’s hair. “Connie already did that a couple o’ hours ago.”

“Connie gives crap bjs,” Steve said, firmly. “You told me so yourself.” He pushed Bucky back against the chimney. “ _ I _ know what you like.”

There was really no arguing with Steve when he got like this. Not that Bucky was in the habit of turning down blowjobs. “Okay, but after can we hold each other and talk and stuff?”

“Yeah.” Steve was unfastening his trousers, not even paying attention anymore. “God, I just wanna fuck you in that uniform.”

Bucky chuckled. “You’re so bad, Stevie.”

“Nah, I’m so  _ good _ .” And then his mouth was too full to continue the conversation.

“Okay,” Bucky sighed, running fingers through Steve’s hair. “You win.”

When Steve inserted fingers during the oral, it led to some desperation-fucking. It didn’t even feel that good; both of them were so anxious and upset, already missing one another.

“Now can we hold each other and talk?” Bucky asked, grateful for the hot New York summers that made the sweat drying on his skin just cool instead of chilly.

“Yeah.” Steve said, dropping his head to rest on Bucky’s chest where they lay on a blanket of clothes.

“You cold, Stevie?”

“I’m fine, Buck.” He gave Bucky’s chest a kiss.

“You know, as much as this is gonna suck, it makes me feel better knowing you’ll be here to take care of the girls and mom.” His hand stroked up and down the curve of Steve’s spine. “I dunno. I’ll miss all o’ you, but just knowing you’re here for each other… Thanks for agreeing to stay with ‘em for me, Stevie.”

“Uh...yeah.” Steve was hesitant to reply, and Bucky wasn’t sure why, though he understood it wasn’t Steve’s first choice.

“I know you wanted to join the war, Steve, but like I said earlier. There’s lotsa things to do here, and just. It helps me to know you’re safe.”

“I can take care o’ myself, Buck,” Steve protested just a little bit, snuggling against him.

“I know, honey, but I’d just as soon you do it here than over there with bullets and Nazis all over the place.”

There was a silence. That usually meant Steve really disagreed. Whatever he was thinking, Bucky refused to fight again tonight. It just wasn’t going to happen.

“You called me ‘honey,’” Steve said softly.

“Oh, shit. Sorry, Stevie.” Bucky hadn’t even realized he’d done it.

They’d agreed years ago not to use endearments 1) because it would be too easy to slip up in public and 2) because that was for saps. And surely no one in love with his best friend could be called that. Normally ‘honey’ was the endearment Bucky reserved for his sisters. ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘doll’ were just for skirts. That ‘honey’ had come out for Steve...he must’ve been getting tired.

“No, I--I liked it,” Steve said.

“Really?” Bucky was surprised. Steve usually hated any kind of nickname that could be seen as diminutive, on account of his size.

“Yeah, it’s like…” Steve started to draw patterns on Bucky’s chest with one finger. “Like you’re actually--like we’re actually a couple.”

That took Bucky aback. He supposed...they hadn’t precisely been too couple-like on account of having to hide their relationship. Not to mention all of Bucky’s dates with dames. But...in his mind, at least, they had been. It hurt him that Steve might have not been thinking the same. Or that he might have been miscommunicating his feelings all this time.

“Steve…” Shit, if he was gonna say this at any point, he had to say it now. “You know...how I feel about you...right?”

Steve laughed. Actually laughed. “Yeah, Buck.” He smiled up at him, reaching up to play with Bucky’s hair. “Pretty sure I do.”

“I swear to God...if it was safe to walk down the street with my arm around you...like really around you...I’d never go out with a girl again.”

Steve’s smile slowly faded. “What?”

“I love you, Steve. I wish things were different. I wish--” No, he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t say he wished they’d send Steve his checks if something happened to him. It’d be bad luck, for one thing.

Steve sat up on his elbows. “You don’t really like girls?” He seemed so confused. 

“Sure I like girls, Stevie,” Bucky smiled reassuringly, reaching out to stroke Steve’s hair. Steve had the softest hair. But honestly, sometimes he wasn’t so sure. Yeah, sex felt great. But he’d never felt anything emotional for a dame. Sometimes Bucky worried that meant something.

“But?” Steve prompted, leaning into Bucky’s touch in that cute way he had.

Bucky’s smile became all affection. “But I like you more.”

“Yeah?” Steve was inching up his body in that way that meant he wanted to fool around again.

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah. Hey, you’re not gonna keep me up all night, are ya?”

“Just one more time, Buck,” Steve said, kissing his neck.

“Promise?”

“Kinda,” Steve said, licking his chest.

“It’s our last night together.”

“Yeah. So let’s make it a good one.”

“Oh God…”

“See? You agree with me.”

“You’re kinda evil,” Bucky said, letting his head fall back and working his hips.

“I kinda love you,” Steve said, tucking his shoulders under Bucky’s knees.

Bucky reached up to touch Steve’s cheek. Having to content yourself with a hidden love, no public displays, no endearments, was the worst. It felt like he’d been hiding who he was for years now. But he’d do it all again for Steve.

The rest of the night passed oddly. It was like Steve wanted to tell him something, but he just couldn’t bring himself to say it. Maybe it was something sad....or something that would have made Bucky sad, so he didn’t because it was their last night. Bucky let him keep his secret. Maybe it was something as simple as not being able to seriously say ‘I love you’ back. That was okay, too. It was Bucky who might be shipping off to Europe to die in the war. He was the one who needed to say it, and he had. If Steve wanted to show his feelings through physical intimacy instead of speaking them out loud, that was fine by Bucky. Mostly. A little less so when 4am rolled around and he still hadn’t slept.

“You can sleep on the boat,” Steve told him. And that was true. It was more important to spend every last second with Steve than it was to sleep.

And then, just like that, it was over. “I don’t understand,” Bucky said.

“I can’t--there’s just somewhere I gotta be.”

“At 5am?”

Steve wouldn’t look him in the eye. That meant he was lying about something. “Yeah.”

“Shit.” They’d spent the last few hours together. And it would never be enough. Suddenly everything was happening too fast.

“I’m sorry, Buck.”

“I wish you woulda said you couldn’t come to the terminal.”

“I’m sorry, Buck.”

Panic was rising in his chest. “Fuck, Steve.”

Steve hid his face in Bucky’s collar and just clung to him for a few seconds. “Don’t say it, Buck.”

“I don’t wanna go.”

Steve looked up at him, and he was smiling. But his cheeks were wet, too. “'course you wanna go.”

“I don’t wanna leave you,” Bucky blurted out.

Steve buried his face again, hugging Bucky so tightly, he thought his ribs were groaning. “Fuck you anyway, Sergeant Barnes.”

“You asshole.” And now Bucky was crying, too.

“You better get downstairs,” Steve told him.

“You know you’re still hangin’ onto me, Steve.”

“I know.”

“Don’t let go.”

“I don’t wanna.”

Bucky bent his head to smell Steve’s hair. He wanted to burn every sense memory of this moment into his brain.

“Fuck.” He could feel Steve’s chest heaving with his sobs. “SHIT!” He shouted so loud, his voice echoed over the rooftops.

Bucky almost laughed. “Jesus, Steve, it’s 5am.”

“Goddamnit.”

“You kiss your best friend with that mouth?” And Steve leaned up to prove that he did.

“Bucky!” That was Patti’s voice calling from the window downstairs.

“Shit.” He was moving away from Steve in what felt like slow motion.

“It won’t be as long as you think.” Steve’s fingers were still clinging to his, unable to let go all together. “I promise. I promise you, Buck.”

“I’ll write you.” And he put his feet on the ladder, twisting around. “You better write back, punk.”

“I love you, jerk.” And there it was. He’d said it. Seriously said it. Bucky’s heart felt both light and heavy. And he couldn’t move. Steve rushed over to grab him where he stood at the top of the ladder, jerking him close by his lapels for one last kiss. “I gotta go, Stevie,” he whispered.

“I know. You take care of yourself. And don’t win the war till I get there.”

“You already said that.”

“I really mean it. Buck--”

“I promise.” He reached out to touch Steve’s lips. “Don’t say anymore, Steve. Or I’ll never get outta here.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Steve said, kissing him on the forehead.

Bucky touched his face and descended the ladder. And that was the last time he saw Steve before things changed forever.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Der Freischutz Series](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002654) by [Night (Night_Inscriber)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_Inscriber/pseuds/Night)




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